How full is your child's love tank? Do you know how to fill their tank? Here we look at this beautiful concept and ways to develop this idea in our day to day lives.
I wrote a post recently called 'Toddler Tantrums' which has led me to write this post:
Filling your Child's Love Tank
This concept fits so beautifully with me with what I believe in and what I try to do as a parent.
It has such a lovely ethos. It's a great way to reflect upon your practise, your child's behaviour along with the environment and experience you create together.
A visual concept called "A Love Tank".
Each and every child has a "Love Tank" (in fact each and everyone of us do really, its not just children).
When we spend good quality time with our children, when we sit and listen to them, play their favourite games, make them laugh, teach them new things, comfort them, show love and compassion and so on we fill their "Love Tank".
In doing so their self esteem is boosted, they feel happy, cared for and respected and subsequently their behaviour improves as they feel good about themselves.
The Five Love Languages of Children, by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell, M.D. is a wonderful book which highlights the importance of understanding the primary love language that your child speaks.
Very Briefly The Five Love Languages of Children are:
Physical touch - Cuddles, kisses, high fives, sitting on your lap, holding hands.
Acts of Service - Doing things out of love and being a good role model to others.
Quality Time - Focused attention and simply being together.
Gifts - Meaningful gift giving.
Words of Affirmation - Praise, encouragement and guidance.
Idea's for Filling Your Child's Love Tank:
- Give them a cuddle and tell them how much you love them and how much they mean to you.
- Demonstrate being a good role model and showing love and compassion for others.
- Enjoy a stroll together in the countryside, woodland or at the beach.
- Play their favourite game.
- Engage in their play.
- Teach them something new.
- Praise their achievements.
- Bring them a special treat when they do not expect it.
- Listen to them.
- Give them opportunities to make decisions and value their input.
- Let them help you prepare food.
- Make them giggle.
- Offer variety in their play. Give them lots of different opportunities.
- Enjoy a day out together sharing one on one time.
There are many ways to fill your child's love tank, above are just a few examples.
Throughout the day ask yourself:
I would just like to conclude this post by a lovely quote which sums up the concept:
"Inside every child is an "emotional tank" waiting to be filled with love. When a child really feels loved, he will develop normally, but when the tank is empty, the child will misbehave. Much of the misbehaviour of children is motivated by the cravings of an empty "Love Tank". - Gary Chapman, The Five Love Languages.
Note: Although this is a lovely concept, it is important to remember this will not apply and work for all children.