Well that awful time has come for us as a family when I am having to start getting round to the fact my daughter is starting school! I have cried and cried and cried.
Where on earth does the time go? It seems only yesterday we were leaving the hospital with her wrapped in a beautiful, soft, pink blanket.
Just like that, I am now having to get my head around her starting school! I have worked in a school myself for quite a long time so I have seen first hand how much children LOVE being at school, especially in early years! I have seen them develop lovely friendships and learn new skills. I have seen all this first hand. I have visited the school she's going to and it was all I was looking for and more. Yet I just can't seem to find comfort in this right now.
The thought of taking her somewhere, leaving her and coming home without her feels so alien to me and I can't tell you how much my heart aches at the thought of it all.
How am I meant to hold my tears back getting her ready on her first day, walking into the school gates and then watching her as she walks into her classroom, and I have to walk away. Although she is growing she still seems so small and this venture seems to be happening far too soon.
Parenthood - I never knew I could love and hurt like this.
So as I sit up giving myself a hard time about it all (its our last day at home together tomorrow) I'm spending it expressing exactly how I am feeling right now:
Today has been a busy one,
As always we've had such fun,
It's whizzed on by and before I know,
The day is almost done.
Tonight I took you up to bed,
I shed a little tear,
I'm heartbroken by the reality,
Soon you wont be here!
It's almost your big day and its
just something I can't bare,
It all feels like its out of my hands,
I feel like it's not fair!
Starting school is such a big step,
I ache at the thought of you away,
I'm trying hard to be strong for you,
Keeping my feelings at bay!
Yet when the house is quiet,
I'm left alone to sit and think,
Tears keep streaming down my face,
Each and every time I blink.
We have our little routines all set,
You help me through the day,
You make me smile and lift me up,
When things don't go my way!
For the last 4 years we do everything,
Our days are hand in hand,
I feel so all alone right now,
Feel like no one understands!
I will miss my dinner buddy,
I will miss my little star,
I will miss your little requests after the rain,
To go and wipe your car!
I will miss the 'cups of tea' you do,
I will miss your funny ways,
I will feel alone without you here,
I know I will be counting down the days!
I will miss you singing loudly,
I will miss hearing you busy at play,
I will miss observing the things you do
- little things in your own way.
Time has flown so fast,
The memories start to flow,
It's been such a joy to me,
Watching you learn and grow!
I couldn't be more proud of you,
I know I have to let you go,
The last 4 years I've loved it all,
Much more than you could know!
You see it's all I wanted,
A little family of my own,
Yet it all happens so quickly,
I can't believe how fast you've grown!
I dread to think how I will be,
That first day when you walk into your class,
I know I will be counting the minutes,
Wishing for time to quickly pass!
I feel as though I'm losing you,
I feel an emptiness inside heart,
Even though it will only be,
A short time we are apart!
I know you will enjoy yourself,
So much fun is to be had!
One minute I am happy for you,
Next I feel so sad!
I love you to the moon and back,
My daughter you will always be,
I know I will always be happiest,
When your here at home with me <3
How are your children settling in to their new schools/classes? I would love to hear from you!!